Bengaluru's water supply company said it would stop the supply of water to more than 50 areas in the city for two days.Karnataka CM Bommai has announced to remove encroachments of roads, canals . Only their own desires and needs can they satisfy. Only when theyre able to extract narcissistic supply from those around them, do they find temporary relief from their empty, non-existing-ness. The universe doesnt reward self-sacrifice. They need a date for a family function. There are a few reasons why the narcissist flaunts the new supply. Why you still cant let go of the one person who treated you exactly the way s/he swore on their life to never do. ? How does he get to abuse me for two decades then walk off with the car, the house and a new partner, while all Im left with is debilitating trauma? Unfortunately, the likelihood of the narcissist in your life living happily ever after with their new source of supply is very, very low. Therefore, its really important that you have a comprehensive grasp of why a narcissist looks like theyre happy with their new source of narcissistic supply so youre much less likely to fall back into the narcissistic abuse cycle if the hoovering phase comes around. Narcissists are unable to emotionally bond, leaving them without the ability to store genuine, loving feelings. However, it can be quite a shock if you believe that the narcissists new supply is a downgrade, and I mean this in the most respectful way possible. Narcissists get their narcissistic supply from people, but in some cases, they might even get it from a pet or group of people. They are going to be extremely aggravated by these things as time goes on because their whole agenda is to tear you down. Meaning that even after theyve discarded you they feel as if all the attention should still be on them. They want you to know. The only way they know how to feel okay is to have complete and utter control of their outer world. Loss of. We broke up around ten times in one year the cycle continued on-I began to take notice of every stage and could predict when the hoover or discard stages would take place. As survivors of narcissists in toxic relationships, weve probably had these same promises made to us in the past. Should you contact the narcissists new supply? Codependency, in contrast to love and validation, is the desire to look outside of ourselves for self-love. Narcissists are very charming and convincing when they first meet someone new that they want to use for their own purposes. Thats why its called a cycle of abuse. It nourishes them and keeps them feeling comfortable with their lives. When they arent sure what they want right now, theyll look for other supplies that meet their needs. You can only imagine why. narcissists are frequently observed displaying their newly acquired supply to others in order to conceal their new supply from others. The Narcissist is heavily invested in how he or she appears to others. Could of been an accidental pregnancy or maybe his friends and family starting building families and he felt left out. If you resist the narcissist and they can manipulate you into going along with them, theyve won and their ego gets fed. What I mean by this is minimizing their victims emotions, feelings, needs, thoughts, achievements and anything else of importance. However, if it becomes evident that youre too focussed on other things and not granting them your full attention at all times, theyll replace you for someone else who will give them what theyre demanding.Advertisementsif(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'unmaskingthenarc_com-mobile-leaderboard-2','ezslot_13',112,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-unmaskingthenarc_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0'); I can remember that as a stay at home mum, as my kids began to get a bit older, I started my own business because I was driven to be doing something other than house duties. You are more powerful than you know! Not knowing if I was going to have to see the new supply when I dropped the kids off and knowing that shed be with my ex every time he picked them up was highly triggering for me. Copyright 2020 mentalhealthmatters-cofe.org. Dont React The best way to react to a narcissists flaunting is to not react at all. Join one of our private small coaching groups! narcissistic women typically found it took two and a half months to get bored with their new supply. There are three groups of narcissistsexhibitionist, closet, and toxicand each has their own typical relationship pattern. Lets be honest, the new supply doesnt actually realise yet that supply is all that they are to the narcissist. Throughout the eternity of the relationship, narcissists are projecting all of their negative emotions . You need to realize that most narcissists will find a new supply before they ever even dump you-before your relationship ends. What does all of this mean for why narcissists look so happy with their new supply? The Beginning Stages of Narcissistic Relationship Are Often Designed to Look Happy, Narcissists Love Being Able to Seduce Their Narcissistic Supply Into the Abuse Cycle, The Narcissist May Look So Happy With Their New Source of Narcissistic Supply to Hurt You. Its highly unlikely. One of the reasons that it can be so hard for victims of narcissistic abuse to watch the narcissist in their lives show off the new supply is because of how abusive, depressing, scary, and oppressing their relationship with the narcissist was. But a narcissists relationship with his new supply might be short-lived, or it may last a while. Here are some tips on how to react when a narcissist flaunts their new supply: 1. I want to be whole before meeting someone else. But you must not worry about what your narc is doing or WHOM they are doing. My biggest regret though was ever allowing him around my children and I am thankful that his new supply does not have any. It can leave them feeling inadequate and enfeeble their minds with self-doubt and self-blame. This can be done in a number of ways, such as bragging about how great their new partner is, or how they are better than you in some way. It doesnt even matter whether you are a direct witness or not. The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes. The High Court of Karnataka on Wednesday ordered status quo on the unveiling of Adiyogi statue and the opening of Isha Yoga Centre at the foothill of the Nandi Hills near Bengaluru. My sole mission is to shape and create fit mommies by providing workouts, recipes, and fitness tips. One threat that may arise out of any scenario that involves a narcissist trading up for a new source of narcissistic supply is their belief that others think that something must be wrong with them because their previous relationship didnt work. Sometimes, we like to keep those things on a shelf in the cupboard, just in case the new one doesnt work as well as wed hoped. The new supply will be left heartbroken and confused, wondering what they did wrong. According to SamVankin narcissists downgrades and I beleive that too..i have diagnosed mysepf as hpd..but I beleive not to be histrionic that all 6 of the girls my ex narc went after was not prettir than me at all..there bodies were like little pre teen boys..and wasnt a upgrade..they were definintly younger..im 28 he 21..his recent gf is baby cute because she was 17 and just turn 18..he is . Narcissists are colorblind in how they view the world. What that value is just isnt evident to you because the narcissist is forever changing the goalposts on what they deem as valuable. Being replaced by a narcissist is one of the most horrific things to have to endure. Hed bounce from, youre working too hard on your own business, to when are you going to actually start making some money. Nothing I did was ever good enough and I was just running faster and faster on the treadmill to still be fully present at home as well as build a business (he never helped with the kids or housework). This is due to a number of factors, including a desire to receive as much narcissistic supply as possible from others, a desire to devalue, degrade, and invalidate their former supply, and a desire to feel special and unique. The narcissist has planted the seeds of a convincing and tantalizing screenplay in the new person's mind. Please dont mistake all of their attention and effort as love or thinking that they miss you. If you are in a relationship with someone who you suspect is abusing you in this way, it is important to reach out to a trusted friend or family member for support. The egos fodder is attention in all of its forms, which validates that it is truly as special and superior as it believes it is. The sources of supply or people are expendable/interchangeable when: So, unless youre okay with shapeshifting every moment of the day to appease the psyche of such a dysfunctional person, the best thing you can do is stop trying to figure out the narcissist. And as the narcissists cycle of abuse goes on, the next person becomes the new source of narcissistic supply. As such, the relief they receive from all that narcissistic supply must constantly be replenished. I have mentioned before in past blogs that narcissists need attention in order to survive. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own. But how does the narcissists new supply figure into all of this? Whether you were the one to leave the narcissist or they were the one to have discarded you, having to see them with new supply is absolutely heart-wrenching. Although it hurt at first, I became happy that I saw how quickly he moved on, that he cheated on me, and how he was flaunting it all over the place. I know what is coming. You can compare this to a leaky bucketrequiring constant refills with nothing of real substance to offer anyone else. narcissistic abuse victims can be retraumatized by the narcissists new relationship with the new supply of happiness, healthy living, and security. Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics.A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse . As a result, even if hes cheating on you, hes already been deceptive and dishonest to the new girl or boy youre with. You see, he didnt just dump me and find a new girlfiend 3 days later oh so conveniently-he had already found her and was working his magic while also hanging on to me for whatever remaining supply that he could extract. The sad truth is that the narcissist is trapped. He needed to be able to hold financials over me, so that I was always less than him. Narcissists dont particularly like anyone because people are merely pawns in their game. Honestly, I was so comforted by the fact that I was right all along. Write it all. If you stay calm, you are taking away their power. This blog is for those who are thinking of becoming pregnant, are already pregnant, or have given birth and are looking forward to getting their best bodies ever. The narc realizes theyre addicted to the supply and resents their dependency on the source. I wanted to vomit. I remember towards the last 3 months, I was told how I was not trying hard enough, how I was cheating on him supposedly, how I didnt give him enough attention, how he didnt feel like a priorty, we did not have enough sex, how I hung out with my friends too much, and how I had to block every single man in my life the list went on. They need others to fawn over them and make a fuss. In turn, the new supply is mirroring back to the narcissist exactly . These are exactly the qualities narcissists seek out in the hopes of that person being easy to manipulate and quick to forgive of their abusive ways. However, when I started pouring my everything into building a career and making my own money, he constantly devalued me. They will make that person feel special and wanted, and will do whatever it takes to keep them around. If the narcissist is unable to get a reaction, he may become sullen and withdrawn. If they can manipulate you into crossing your own boundaries for them, again they gain supply from being able to control you. Dont get me wrong-I hate it for her. Are you feeling jealous of the narcissists new supply? Their brains are wired completely differently and they are motivated by very abstract reasons that would make zero sense to a healthy, logical person. If you discarded the narcissist, especially if it was unexpected, they may not have another supply ready to go. My NEW Fitness App is Finally Here! Get ready for the narcissist to rage at you, hoover you, threaten you and guilt you into staying (or coming back) to their abuse cycle. [7+ Reactions] How Do Narcissists Treat Old Supply? By this point, the narcissist is ready to discard you like yesterdays trash and may already have another source of supply already waiting in the wings. Narcissists don't think about consequences, they make decisions based on their mood at the time. - All rights reserved. It was primarily due to the fact that the new partner was not given the necessary training to meet the narcs needs. And I am 100% confident that the person he dropped me like yesterdays trash for, will get the same as well as the person after that and so on. Some people might think that when, as survivors of narcissistic abuse, we call ourselves supply we are minimizing ourselves. So, if youre sitting there thinking, people always hurt me, then thats exactly what will energetically continue to come your way.Advertisementsif(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'unmaskingthenarc_com-portrait-2','ezslot_20',119,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-unmaskingthenarc_com-portrait-2-0'); However, its not enough to just change what youre thinking. A narcissists ability to essentially check off the boxes of their victims ideal partner checklist is something that shouldnt be underestimated and it also leads us into the next explanation as to why narcissists look so happy with their new source of narcissistic supply. The narc has zero sense of self therefore they will continue doing what they have always done. That way they remain in control of the discard and the storyline that goes with it. To understand why I say words do not mean anything, I want you to understand that a persons character can only be developed by spending time with them. He also needed to constantly make me feel like I needed him, rather than the truth being the absolute opposite. The Gay Narcissist was financially stressed as a result of his expensive trips and hotels. He had a new shiny toy to abuse now-not me. 4. Should you warn the new supply about the narcissist? This includes being able to successfully control and bend others to their will. But ultimately, we are always looking to replace the old, used item with a new and exciting one. Here is a glossary of terms for gay narcissists. If youre interested in learning more about narcissism, toxic relationships, or dark personalities, these books are a great place to start. Then, take our free C-PTSD Self-Assessment. They require it to survive. They are no longer connected to the light. Mine used to always tell me to wear heels more. But what we are actually doing is acknowledging that the abusers in our lives only saw us for what we could provide to them not for what and who we actually are. 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