Yeah, I thought so too. A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. What do you get when a doctor goes back in time to teach himself medicine? ", Doctor: You have high blood pressure and amnesia., Patient: Doctor, doctor, I stood on a LEGO!, Doctor: "I've got good news, and bad news. Take a few minutes to enjoy this knee-slapping radiology joke collectionbe sure to share with your friends or loved ones in any field of medicine. Who do you call when you need a doctor immediately?The nearest golf course. COPY. i have an imaginary girlfriend.. What part of the body did the chiropractor fix when Eminem came in?Shadys back. How does the receptionist at a urology department answer the phone? A man frantically calls the doctor and says, My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart now!, Doctor: I had a young boy in here yesterday that swallowed 10 quarters. Can you please help me? Why did the computer go to the doctor?It thought it had a terminal illness. 60 Funny Dirty Jokes for Adults Short Rude And Funny Dirty Jokes #1. Red Blood Count: Dracula, Secretion: Hiding something Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. "Doctor deeply sighs and says, "Denephew. Doctor: "I'm sorry, but we had to remove your colon.". What's the worst part of an apple addiction?You can't see a doctor about it. If I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord. That's not how it works! ", Patient: Please help me! '", Patient: 'Doctor, my hair keeps falling out. Q: What's the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist? 2. ", "After my prostate exam, the doctor left. When someone from the passengers shouted 'He asked for a cup of coffee too'. Seizure: Roman Emperor, Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport. Because I want to attach to your posterior region! She took down his name, address, medical insurance number, and told him to have a seat. One day, a man stumbled into his doctors office with a terrible cold. Why did the robot go to the doctor?It had a virus! Why did the cookie go to the hospital?He was feeling really crumby. u/daugarten. As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesnt matter. Patient: Doctor, I am feeling much better now. Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a dog., Patient: Will this ointment clear up my spots?, Patient: Doctor, I think Ive been bitten by a vampire., Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a carrot.. He needs an infusion whats his blood type?!. While on the operating table, she came very close to death and had the opportunity to speak with God.Is my time up? she asked him.No, God answered, you still have 40 years, 5 months, and 3 days to live.Upon recovery, the woman felt sublime. "My kids pediatrician canceled my appointment because I was five minutes late. Ooops! Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days. 2. That look soots you. My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. When the man came back, the doctor gave him a shot, but that didnt help either. Fo drizzle. If I treat someone with pneumonia, he will die of pneumonia., A guy strolls into work with both of his ears bandaged up.His boss asks him, Jeez, what happened to your ears?Well, yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang, and I accidentally answered the iron.Well, that explains one ear, the boss replied, but what about the other one?I had to call the doctor!, A man having trouble with his vision decides to visit his doctor. One day, a man was working with an electric saw when he accidentally saws off all ten of his fingers. "I don't find health-related puns funny anymore since I started suffering from an irony deficiency. ", Patient: "What's my life expectancy? Do you know a good joke which isn't here. You make me go from simple squamous to stratified columnar. Share: A fat man goes for a medical check-up. Neilas often finds himself lost in making music, sim racing, watching movies, TV Series and playing video games in his free time. This is a collection offunny one-liners, exactly as typed by medical secretaries: I knew I wanted to be a storyteller ever since I learned to read and write. Have you got anything to keep it in?' Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor? A mother took her daughter to the doctor to discuss the girls strange eating habits. ", My wife is pregnant, and my doctor asked me if I had ever been present at a childbirth before.I replied, "Yes just once. Hey baby, wanna play with my corpus cavernosum? Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. ", "During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? 11. She took down his name, address, medical insurance number, and told him to have a seat.A few minutes later, a nurses aid came out. 10 doctor makes a pig's ear of operation. It's either you're not in touch with reality or you just don't care! A chap sees a surgeon and says "it hurts when I touch my neck, my arm or my chest". !Nurse: B positive.Doctor: Im trying, but hes lost a lot of blood., "Knock, knock. The vet interrupted him by saying, Look, Im a vet. Jones: What? What can I do?. Dissolvable relationships. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship? That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen. Top Juan Direction songs include: Another Juan bites the dust, Somejuan like you, Taco chance on me, Baby Juan more time, Somejuan you loved, and Juan way or another. It's St. Patrick, a Perfect Time to Be Punny. Take these pills and come back next week.". The stranger says, "How about 10?" So he decided to fulfill his REAL dream and become an auto mechanic. Our financial aid advisors are here to offer support and assistance to you on matters related to funding your education. She called his name and asked him what he has while leading him to the examination room. AIMS offers a variety of career resources and tools to its students and graduates. What part of the body did the chiropractor fix when Eminem came in? See his answers: 1. "Doctor says, "Take the spoon out of your mug. A proctologist had been in practice for 20 years and had settled into a very comfortable life with his future very secure. "Oh no, that's terrible. ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread, Woman On TikTok Calls Out Airbnb Tenant's Entitlement When She Realizes That She Has To Do Chores Despite $125 Cleaning Fee, Old Photos In Real Life: 35 Pics That Show How Much Time Affects Everything (New Pics), AITA? 69% of people find something dirty in every sentence. one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Why did the sperm cross the road? ", "I went to the doctors with hearing problems. A stethoscope. During my check-up I asked the Doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then? A guy strolls into work with both of his ears bandaged up. Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. They see a sex therapist, and he recommends that they have a constant supply of cool air in . ", Doctor: You have high blood pressure and amnesia.Patient: Well, at least I dont have high blood pressure!. Rectum: Almost killed him The doctor . They both have manholes. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. ", Man: "Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up! Or you just rocked my world?! Pharmacist: Person who makes a living dealing in agriculture Im feeling a little off today. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared. A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. ", Doctor: "Sorry sir, but your body has run out of magnesium. I'm a musician, but let me tell you this. The serious types of doctors are the ones who emanate serious aura. (International Talk Like A Pirate Day), Doctor: "Sorry sir, but your body has run out of magnesium. An experienced nurse calls housekeeping when a patient throws up. It says, Doc, you gotta help me! The good news is that we are going to discharge you because you have regained your senses, since you are able to jump in and save another patient you are now a normal person. The doctor examined the man, left the room, and came back with three different bottles of pills. Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. Hey Former Cult Member Pandas, What Made You Figure Out You Were In A Cult? "There was a sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center that said 'Keep off the Grass. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. Why did the witch go to the doctor?She had a dizzy spell. Some @$$#le has my pen! Medical Dirty Jokes. Did you hear about the Obstetrician who became a stand-up comedian?Apparently, its all about the delivery for some people. He rushes to the emergency room to get help. Another doctor., Doctor: What seems to be your trouble?Patient: When I get up, I feel dizzy for one hour?Doctor: Try getting up one hour later.. No, thats not an epi-pen in my pants. 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Catscan: Searching for kitty This is her husband!, Doctor: I had a young boy in here yesterday that swallowed 10 quarters. How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?Only one, but the nurse has to tell the doctor which end to screw in first. What do you get when a doctor goes back in time to teach himself medicine?A pair o docs. Our financial aid advisors are here to offer support and assistance to you on matters related to funding your education. Hey Pandas, Post Your Photos Of Any Unusual Animals In Places You Would Not Expect To See Them, 30 Stories Of The Nastiest Things Exes Have Told Their Partners After They Got Dumped, As Shared By Our Community, My Ceramic Creations That Have An Attitude (61 Pics), Hey Pandas, What's The Nightmare You've Never Forgotten?
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